~Fear~
Friday, March 2, 2012
Fear.
Something we cant run away from lives.=)
Fear.
So many things we are fear of.
Why?
Because we are afraid of failures.
Afraid of getting up and being strong.
Afraid of taking chances. Afraid of rejection.
Lack of confidence.
Doubt.
Sometimes, we fear so much that we doubt our decisions.
Fear.
Demotivates you.
Hits you in every direction.
Brings you down.
Sets a mentality saying that "you cant do it"
But in fact, you can actually strive for what you want. but, you overthink.
Doubt.
Yes. I'm a afraid.
I fear of a lot of things. Future.
I dunno where the future is going to take me.
50/50 chance. To have a good life or the other way round.
What will I be in the future?
Who will I be?
Who am I with?
Who will be there for me by then?
The main purpose of writing this post is to express how I feel now.
I havent applied in any universities yet.
I know I should be applying. But, I doubt my decisions so much.
To study local/abroad.
Why? because of fear.
I dont wanna leave Penang for studies yet. Yes, eventually I have to.
But, I am just not ready for all these sudden changes.
I'm afraid I cant do well in a foreign place. And who can I look up to when my family members are not with me?
Or my closest friends?
To study in university soon means meeting new friends.
I dont mind about that.
But, I need someone.
Yes. I am shy if I am alone. but, if i have a companion, I can easily talk to others. I dunno why o.O?
I think, I must really start making friends like what I did when I was in standard 1 ;D
back to square one =) Should be fun ;D
learning new stuffs.
Living in a completely new environment.
being responsible for myself.
independent.
Adulthood.O.O
sometimes I feel excited. sometimes I feel heavy-hearted.
I feel excited because it's the beginning of a new life . It's like. a UNIVERSITY life ;D
meeting new people. gaining new experience.
graduation ;D
heavy-hearted because I dont wanna leave people close to my heart.
and the place I live ;D Penang. ;D
Of course. the fun part is freedom.
I know it's fun. But still.
I am not ready T_T I am not ready to sacrifice anything T_T
Yes i am pampered =(
owh well~ Let's just let fate decides =)
I am just gonna hope for the best.
And I seek God for his guidance and to give me strength throughout this whole journey~
I hope this journey is a great one. =)
Full of memories and surprises ;D
Let's just hope for the best ^^
"Let my heart speaks louder than my head"
11:11 PM