~Insecurity~
Wednesday, November 4, 2015
Insecurity creeps into your soul and slowly destroys it.
Insecurity is a b*tch.
It makes you feel that you are not good enough.
Sometimes, it finds you during your weakest hour.
It makes you crumble. It makes you feel worthless.
It makes your self-esteem drops.
It makes you hate people you don't even know.
Insecurity kills all that it's beautiful.
And sometimes, I can't help myself from being insecure over insignificant matters...
Ignore me for this emo post . Just some stupid rant =P
5:21 AM
~I wasn't expecting that~
I thought love wasn't meant to last,
I thought you were just passing through,
If I ever get the nerve to ask,
What did I get right to deserve somebody like you?
I wasn't expecting that.
Jamie Lawson-Wasn't Expecting That
Hey fellow readers!! =D
Just a quick update though~
Sorry for disappearing for almost two months D=
So yea =)
I left Malaysia on 25th September, 2015 for my internship in UK =D
I arrived at Heathrow, London on 26th September,2015.
And boy, I was so jet lagged! with the time difference. The long journeyyyy..
It was a total of 13 hours flight from KL to London.
My other half dropped me at the bus station before I left for KL as he couldn't send me off at the airport because he had stuffs to do T_T
It was a bittersweet moment for us. Hrmm =(
I stayed over in KL for a day before my flight. Stayed over at my cousin's house. And my cousin was so thoughtful that he decided to let my nephew skip his daycare just so he could spend some time with me =P
Oh gosh. That little cheeky boy. I miss him so much now :(
So yea =) My flight to Doha was on 26th September,2015 at 3am in the morning and from there, I took another flight to London. It was a long journey. Trust me. My body ached so badly after those flights.
My family, cousin, his wife and my nephew came down to the airport to send me as well. There was mixture of feelings that time.
Sad, happy, heavy-hearted, excited...
I miss my family so dearly now. I do get homesick day by day.
But, I keep myself busy with stuffs to do.
I arrived at London around 12pm (their local time). So yea. XD I was kinda excited about the journey I am about to embark.
Took a taxi to our rented houses.
And boy! I was so surprised with my little flat!
Such a beautiful flat for us two girls!
It's so comfortable here. So cosyyy. So homeyyy =)
And it's so clean! It's definitely a proper home. With proper furniture.
So, I have a room by myself and an attached bathroom =D
The room is pretty big for me though [as compared to the hostel inUTP =P] haha xD
I really love the flat I am living in now =)
There is a proper kitchen, dining area and living area as well.
Owh! and Tesco is just right behind me =P So convenient!
My flat is about 5 minutes walk to my office as well. Yeahhh..
That means no early-morning jams to work!
and I have a few extra minutes to snuggle in bed =P
So! It has been almost 6 weeks here.
I am kinda settled already. Past month has been crazy as I had to settle so many documentations and trying to settle down in this new place.
But now, things have been pretty good =D I have been occupied with my job.
Been learning from day to day.
Although, my tasks could get repetitive with each day.
But, I am not complaining at all =D
I am truly blessed to be placed in such a prestigious company!
Every single task I complete, I learn something from it =)
Although the learning process might not be directly, but I always believe, everything has benefits behind it.
I have been given a mini project too! I am really excited about it and I have been researching about it as well.
Hopefully, I get to try on the experiments soon!!! =D
To be honest, at the beginning, it was tough for me because I could not keep up with the accent and the speed of their speech here. hahaha xD
So, most of the time, I zoomed out because I could not understand. =P
It was a struggle to me even though I speak English mostly at home hahaha xD
But, now, I am able to catch up and I am already used to the accent and speed already. =)
Right now, I am slowly building my confidence and personality here.
I tend to get shy and quiet around the employees here because they are so much more senior than me so, I hold myself back most of the time.
But yea =) I am trying to break through that mindset.
I am trying to be more outspoken day by day =D
It's a challenge because I am not like this back home haha xD
Guess it's because I am in a foreign land and still trying to understand their culture =D
But yea =D things are going pretty well =)
I am just being myself most of the time. =D
Hrm! At first, I couldn't get used to the weather here.
Gosh! It was really cold to me when I first got here!
The locals said the weather is hot to them! Boy,it was cold for me!
So yea. When I arrived, autumn was about to start.
And the temperature is normally about 8 to 15 degrees Celsius every day.
Sometimes it rains the whole day. Sometimes it's foggy. Sometimes it's sunny.
And I really could not adapt with the weather at first.
My skin dried out so badly.
And I shivered a lot especially when I was walking around outside.
But now, I have gotten used to the weather already.
It's still cold, but bearable =)
I don't shiver like how I used to already haha xD not sure if I've gotten used to it or that it is not that cold anymore.
Autumn is such a beautiful season =)
I got to witness how the trees turned from green to yellow. And how they shed in a couple of weeks.
But it is indeed a very beautiful season. The colours are simply beautiful.
Except for the chills and winds. Blehh! XD
What else? Owh! I have been travelling around too =D
Been to Oxford, Northampton, Stonehenge, Milton Keynes, Bicester Village and Banbury.
Hopefully I have some cash at the end of the month from all those travelling! hahaha xD
I am so tempted to buy so many things from here to bring back homeeeee...
Shoes, clothes, bags, watches... =(
I was also very fortunate to be able to meet with the two F1 drivers of Mercedes AMG Formula One Team! =D
I had some pictures taken with them as well!
If you follow my Instagram, you would have known =P
I was so hyped up when I saw them! xD Like a little girl seeing her favourite candy XD
I also met Paddy Lowe and Toto Wolff!!!
It was indeed a great opportunity to meet these individuals =D
Hrmm let's see.
Yea. I do miss home a lot..
Missing the people back home...Him...
The food. The environment..
Things feel a little different when I am not there physically with them.
I do communicate with them through Skype, WhatsApp, Facebook and other social medias.
But, seems like there is a tiny empty feeling in me.
Just wish they were all here to witness everything I am going through.
I have tonnes to share once I am back home =D
The distance and time zone are really killing me.
When I first got here, the time difference between Malaysia and UK was 7 hours.
Last week, the clock went backwards for one hour to prepare for the winter season. something to do with the sun rising and setting..owh noooo..
So now. It's 8 hours time difference....
Makes communication with home even more difficult.. =(
Owh well.
It is not that bad here =)
I am actually enjoying every single moment here.
It is indeed a great experience to be here.
To be finally on my own two feet. Handling everything on my own.
It is my dream to be here. What more. To be placed in a team I have been dreaming of all this while!
Hrmm.. Well, I guess that's all.
Seems like a long update already =P
Till next time.
Bye!!!
"November.Strength=)"
5:11 AM
