~every teardrop is a waterfall~
Saturday, September 24, 2011
hi~~ ;D
yesh. i am updating this not because I have updates.
but I just need to pour things.
tomorrow is MPW finals.
pfft. I am not even excited for it.
it's freaking history.
I cant remember my own history and you expect me to understand other's histories?=P
ok. back to the real thing..
i think. it has been three weeks things have been going on really weird for me.
I try not to overthink.
Stress. Pressure. Studies. Lack of confidence.Running out of time. Trial.
Neighbours have been really..b*tchy these days.
Renovations. Quarrels. Child abuse.
Everyday, there will be someone screaming, shouting, cursing.
Yesh. It has been weeks.
I cant take this environment anymore. I think I will go crazy if I were to go on like this.
I have my own life, my own problems. I have a very very tough time here already.
and you guys dont have to create more problems over silly things.
Be a little considerate.
I really wanna leave this place.
I want a quiet environment.
I dont want my future to be affected by you guys.
Try being in my situation. And you would know how tough is the phase I am going through.
This is not a game. It's not like. you guys can screw my life and I can give it another try next time. No. it's not like that.
If you guys do screw it up, I will miss an opportunity. Time wasted.
Energy wasted. Money gone to waste.
I am not being selfish.
I know I should just ignore.
But, I have been ignoring so much, it comes to the break off point.
I have been tolerating for so long.
and tolerance has its limits too.
This neighbourhood is shared by all. Not by an individual.
OK. maybe I am exaggerating. maybe i am feeling this way because I am under stress..
But, think of it this way.
When you are already having a bad time, you try to be strong.
You try to ignore every single thing that gets into your way.
You stay positive.
You try to overcome every single obstacle. but, at one point...
a small matter will cause a great effect on you. And, you'd break down.
and the next thing you'd do is, get over it. stand up. and be strong =)
Dear neighbour on my left, you're the most inconsiderate person I've ever met in my entire life. I have been tolerating with you for years. I try to ignore what you always do. You curse so much when you walk by my house. Yet, I dont mind. I tolerate when you always destroy my Saturday and Sunday mornings. But, last night, when my dad told you nicely to be more considerate, you felt so insecure. You are one insensitive woman. You were scolding, shouting and caning your son outside at 12.30am. When told about your mistakes, you were off balanced. And you insulted my dad? How shallow are you? I've never seen someone like you.
Dear neighbour on my right, every morning, your child will cry just because he doesnt want to go kindergarten. My sleep is disturbed. I dont blame your son. your son has his reasons to not go to kindergarten. But, you cant just let things that way. Something must be done. however, you guys as parents, will start scolding him, and he will start crying very loudly. EVERYDAY. Still, I tolerate. I need my sleep too. I am tired. I need sleep. YET. I dont mind. But, just now it was a turning point. I could no longer tolerate. Both you husband and wife were quarreling so loudly. banging stuffs here and there? and your son was crying so loudly. and for God's sake, it was already night time.. dinner time.. I need to study too.
Dear neigbours above. how long does it take for you guys to renovate a house? it's gonna be three weeks soon.=.=
I get up from sleep early because of all the drillings and bangs.
YET. I still dont mind.
In fact, I took it positively. I thought.
"okay. since you guys woke me up, I'll just study."
But nahh. today was really too over for me.
Headache. MPW finals preparations. flu.
and those drillings and bangs..were...too...much!
I tried to sleep. But, I couldnt.=)
SO YEA.
maybe I am over exaggerating. like i said earlier.
I might act this way because I am already having a tough time.
and every single thing that happens around me, will annoy me for no particular reasons.=)
And, I guess. after all these, I start to think alot.
Things start to hit me from all directions.
I accidentally went to look at my brother's pictures taken in school and...
Memories started to flow in.
And. I cant stop crying..
I know. friendship remains.=) and make room for new friends.=D
I understand that.=) But sometimes, when you think of memories..
You either laugh or cry just by thinking about them =)
I do laugh at certain memories. But to some I cry because time flies too fast and memories cant be brought back.=)
I cant believe I can get this weak at this time. AHH! so not me!!! *bangs head*
I need strength. I need to be strong.
I know I can do it.
I just need. a push. a word of motivation..telling me I can do it.=)
I dunno what has gotten me this way.
Maybe. So many things have been happening and one slight hit makes me weak.
Even a strong person like me has her weakest hours kay?=P
I just wanna cry. After crying, I do feel better.=)
And no. this is not my normal me. I usually dont cry that easily.
On the bright side. I know I can go through this =)
I will stay positive.
Because that's what I am.
I wont give up that easily because of all these.
I know this is just a test.It's a tough one I guess? XDDD
After getting pissed , I am cooled off.
And I am gonna stay positive from now onwards.=)
I have people here who are willing to support me no matter what.=D
thanks..=) I love you guys =D
Tears fell.
But every single tear will make me stronger.=)
I believe in that.
And yes. I feel so much better for spilling everything out here.
my loyal blog xD
And yesh =)
I believe that, after letting out, things will get better.
I will forget about all these and move on ;D
Afterall. you guys know me .ahem ahem ;D
I let go off things easily. AHEM XD AHAHAHA XD
Perasan betul =P
CHEERS! =)
xoxo~
"run run run~~"
12:27 AM